- Ap LePie - Joel McHale
- Plumpy - Patton Oswald
- Lord Licorice - Jeremy Irons
- Princess Lolly - Cherize Theron (sp?)
It took some time for the tribes to agree, but they finally did and the combined kingdom and tribe forces assembled outside of the woods. It took a couple of hours, but once we were all assembled, I led everyone back towards the Peanut Brittle Patches.
Princess Lolly, Circu S'Peanut and Lemo N'Drop walked with me. I said, "Gramma Nutt has promised to lead us through the patches so that we don't have to chop any of them down. I promised her that we wouldn't do anything to harm them. Can you spread the word among the troops?"
The three of them nodded and spread the word. About an hour later we arrived at the edge of the patches, and, as promised, Gramma Nutt was there waiting for us. The four of us walked over to her and I said, "It's good to see you, Gramma Nutt. I've shared our agreement with the forces here."
Gramma Nutt glanced around as we approached and gestured for us to be quiet. She came in close and whispered, "Lord Licorice has sent spies into the patches, following you, Mr. LePie. A dozen or so Swedish Fishmen are now wandering in circles through the patches."
I smiled at her. "I don't know how you do it, Gramma Nutt, but I'm glad you're on our side."
She glared at me and said, "Let's get this straight, bucko; I'm not on your side. I'm on my side." She pointed her finger at Princess Lolly. "I want an agreement signed after all this is over that says your kingdom will build a new road that goes around the patches instead of through it!"
Princess Lolly glanced over at me and I slyly nodded. She said, "Of course, Gramma Nutt! I don't know why we never did that before!"
Gramma Nutt grunted and without another word she turned and headed into the patches.
Princess Lolly and I shrugged at each other and followed her.
To this day, I don't know how we did it, but we managed to get through the patches in just over an hour without losing anyone. We emerged from the patches and the commanders set about counting their troops. I turned to Gramma Nutt and thanked her for her help. She grunted and said, "If I don't get what I want from your kingdom, no one will ever get through the patches again. Don't you mistake me, Ap LePie, I don't intend on killing anyone. It's just that everyone who enters will find themselves leaving the same side of the patches that they entered after a couple of hours of walking. Understand?"
I nodded and said, "Princess Lolly will make sure that a new road is built."
She shrugged and nodded then turned and walked into the patches.
I turned and found Princess Lolly and the Gummy Bear chiefs. After another moment or two we had the army moving on its way again.
It wasn't long before we had Licorice Castle in sight. Everything looked much as it had before I left. Colonel Crunch must have seen us coming as he was coming out to meet us. When he got in speaking range, he said, "Please tell me that the bears are here as allies and not guiding a defeated army home?"
I thought about teasing him about it, but I thought better of it. Instead, I said, "We've asked them to help us convince the Lord of the error in his ways and they've agreed."
Colonel Crunch nodded and smiled. He said, "Good. We'll array them in the front flanks with the siege ladders that we've been making." He glanced up at the sky, judging the time. I noticed that it was getting dark. "We won't have time to properly set up our lines tonight, so the bears can camp wherever they like that is behind the front line. Princess Lolly, your troops can camp with mine."
We all agreed on Colonel Crunch's plan and set things into motion. When everything was moving, Colonel Crunch said, "Princess, Ap, let me show you the preparations we've been making."
The princess and I followed him to a large tent in the center of the camp. Inside the tent was a large table with a map and figures on it. Upon closer inspection, I saw that the map was of the castle and surrounding area. The figures on the table represented some number of troops. There were three giant-shaped ones and a dozen or so smaller pieces.
Colonel Crunch pointed to the table and said, "Sergeant Ers and I have come up with a plan to attack the castle. I knew how many troops you had, but I didn't know that you'd be bringing reinforcements with you. We'll have to redraw up the plan, but I think that the basics will remain the same."
Suddenly, a soldier ran into the tent and up to the colonel and saluted and waited. Colonel Crunch barked out, "Report!"
"Sir! The drawbridge has lowered and Lord Licorice is waving a white flag. I think that he wants to parley, sir," the soldier said quickly.
Crunch looked over to me and Princess Lolly. She looked at me. I said, "I think that I should go alone. I don't want either of you where Licorice can easily get them." I chuckled and said, "I'm not that valuable of a hostage."
I walked out of the tent, then the camp. I could see Licorice waiting for me at the gate to the castle. When I got to the edge of the drawbridge, I stopped. We weren't in speaking range so we just glared at each other for a few moments. Finally, he shook his head and chuckled. He confidently walked over to me and said, "You are one stubborn man, Ap LePie."
"What do you want, Licorice? The army and I are preparing to storm your castle," I retorted.
The smirk disappeared from his face. He growled, "This castle isn't going down that easily, LePie. Even with your pet Gummy Bears."
It was my turn to growl as I said, "I disagree, Licorice. I'll see you soon, Licorice. On the inside of your castle's walls!"
I turned to leave and Lord Licorice quickly grabbed me before I could react. He pulled me close and said, "I don't think so, LePie."
I was beginning to think that he was going to kill me rather than let me go back to the camp. Instead, he dropped me and pulled out some sort of wand. He waved it at me and I closed my eyes. That's when I felt the magic hit me. It felt like I dropped a couple of feet onto something soft and squishy. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a beautiful woman.
"Wh-where am I?" I managed to stutter.
She extended her hand and I took it. As she helped me to my feet she said, "You are aboard the Queen Frostine, sailing on the Ice Cream Sea."
I looked out and saw several other Ice Cream Floatships sailing with the Queen Frostine. Somehow, I'd been transported a couple of hundred miles to the Ice Cream Sea.