Story: Perfect Match

After several months, I finally managed to write a story! This is another Chuck Wendig flash fiction challenge. This one was to get a random plot and write a story from that. I'll keep what my result was until the end. I wouldn't want it to spoil anything.

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Mike double checked the form to join FindYourMatch.com. Satisfied that he'd filled out the form without embellishments, he hit the submit button. He sat back and wondered when, or if, he'd get a response when his computer signalled that he had an email.

Expecting a welcome message from the dating site, he leaned forward and opened his inbox. That email was there, but in addition was an email saying he had a message in his FindYourMatch mailbox. A wave of excitement tore through Mike as he went back to his browser and refreshed the page. Sure enough, there was a message from a woman with the simple title of "Interested in meeting". Another wave of excitement, this time mixed with nervousness, hit him. He clicked the link waited eagerly for the page to load.

He was greeted by an image of a woman in a flight suit standing by a fighter jet. The image told him that she was a pretty brunnette of average height that is or was in the military as a pilot. Her message was short and to the point. Her name is Pam, and she read his bio and was interested in a meet up tonight.

He fired off a message back to tell her he was interested in meeting. Before he could even sit back again, he got a reply telling him where to meet her. He looked at his watch and jumped up. He didn't have much time to get ready if he was to make it on time.

When he arrived, he saw someone who looked like Pam talking to the hostess and walked over. "Pam?"

She glanced at her watch and nodded. "Ah, five minutes early, excellent." She looked up at him and smiled. Mike thought she had a beautiful smile. She held her hand out and said, "It's nice to meet you, Michael."

Mike cursed himself for putting his full name on his profile. The only person who called him Michael was his mother. He took her hand and shook it, smiling back at her. "Everyone calls me Mike, actually."

Pam frowned and said, "Well, Mike, it's customary to put your preferred name into your profile." She made a wave of dismissal. "Never mind. Our table is ready, shall we?"

Mike nodded and followed Pam and the hostess to their table. They looked over the menu in awkward silence for a few moments before Mike said, "I just signed up for FindYourMatch today, so I was a little surprised to get your message."

"I have an alert for when a man in my area signs up that meets certain criteria. It is more efficient than sifting through old and out of date profiles," Pam replied.

Mike nodded. "That makes sense. I didn't know you could do that alert thing."

Their waiter arrived then and asked, "Are you ready to order?"

"Typically, you're supposed to ask for our drink orders first," Pam said. "However, I am ready to order my meal. How about you, Mike?"

Mike nodded and they ordered their meals and drinks. As Pam was ordering, Mike looked her over and decided there was something he really liked about her, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The waiter left and Mike said, "So, are you a pilot? In your profile pic, you are standing next to some sort of fighter."

Pam smiled and Mike thought again that she had a beautiful smile. "Yeah, that one is a ZF-132. It was fun to fly, but probably won't make it to production."

"What does that mean? I've never heard of that model," Mike replied.

"You'll likely never hear of it. It failed several tests regarding safety, operability and performance." Seeing that Mike was still confused, she added, "I'm a test pilot for the USAF."

"Oh, that must be dangerous," Mike said, concern in his voice.

Pam laughed, "It's not as bad as in, say, 1950, but it can be dangerous. Fortunately, we haven't lost a pilot since I joined the 412th a few years ago." She looked down at the table. "The silverware isn't placed correctly. The fork goes on the left and the knife on the right."

Mike noted that his silverware was misplaced and corrected it, too. He looked back up at Pam and said, "I'm glad we could meet up for a date-"

"You're mistaken, Mike, this is just an informal meet up, not a date," Pam interrupted.

Mike was taken aback a little, but continued, "Err, as I was saying, I'm glad we could meet up on such short notice. I'm having a good time."

Their meals came and Mike told Pam about being a college math teacher. Then, Pam told Mike more about being a test pilot. They ordered dessert and another round of drinks. At closing time, the waiter brought them their bills.

Mike reached for both checks and said, "I can cover these."

Pam quickly scooped up her bill and shook her head. "Maybe on the first date, Mike, but it wouldn't be proper for you to pay for my meal at an informal meeting of friends."

"So, you're saying that we're going to have a first date?" Mike asked with a smile on his face.

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Have you been able to guess the scenario?  My scenario was:

The story starts when your protagonist joins an online dating site.

Another character is a test pilot who wants everything done by the rules.

Story: Crooked Tree

I'm doing another Flash Fiction challenge by Chuck Wendig.  This story totally evolved from what I had first imagined, but I really like where it went and I hope you like it too.

Edit: Added the picture hosted on Chuck's site.  FYI, the image is Copyright Chuck Wendig and I claim no rights to the image.

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My mother always tells me not to play by the crooked tree, but I can't help myself.  I think that the tree is very interesting to look at and fun to play around and climb on.  She says that the tree is cursed and I don't know what she means by that, but I'm sure that the tree means well.

I know that the tree is dying, but every spring it still grows new leaves and last year a bird had a nest in it.  My father says that the tree will fall all the way down soon.  That makes me sad.  I will miss the tree when it's gone.  The tree is my best friend.

My mother won't go near the tree and refuses to let my father mow that part of the backyard.  She says that the tree is on the edge of our property anyway, so it's fine that the grass is long there.  I like the long grass and shrubs that grow near the tree.  Sometimes I hide in them when I feel like being alone.  My mother is always very cross with me when she finds me hiding from her there.

My father sometimes tries to get mother to let him cut down the tree.  He says that the bad memories will go with the tree.  I don't know what bad memories they are talking about, I only ever remember the tree fondly.  She always refuses, but I don't really know why.  If I didn't like the tree as much as she doesn't, I would let my father take it away.  I'm always happier when he takes the darkness away at night.  I don't like the darkness and he's happy to make it go away for me.  My mother might be happier if she let my father take the tree away.

I'm happy that the tree is still there.  I often wonder why the tree is so crooked, none of the other trees are crooked like that one.  I asked my father about why it was crooked.  He looked very sad and said that something bad happened ten years ago.  I wonder why he is so sad, but I don't ask him about it because I don't like it when people are sad.  I gave him a big hug and that made him happy again.

Yesterday, I heard my parents talking about the tree when they thought I wasn't listening.  They were talking about a ten year old boy named Bobby who got hurt when the tree became crooked.  I felt sad for that boy and wondered if I knew him.  My name is Bobby and it would be nice to know another boy named Bobby.  Maybe he could play with me and my crooked tree.

Story a Week 43 - Foresight

 I know that it's been a while since I've put a story out here.  Oh well.  Gotta push forward and continue writing.  I hope that you all forgive my absence.

Here's a new story.  This might be a standalone, or not.  I'm not sure at this point.

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"Who are you and why did your people attack us?"

Jack Freeman sighed.  His interrogator had been yelling the same question at him for hours.  He didn't seem to believe, or want to believe the answer.  Jack repeated himself one more time, "My name is Jack Freeman.  I am an agent of the Nuclear Facility Decommission Agency of the government of the United States.  We are acting within our agency's charter."

The man finally lost his temper.  He yelled, "The United States is dead!  We've been running things in Monticello on our own for over a year without so much a peep from Washington, much less from St. Paul."

Jack just shrugged as a reply.  That didn't seem to improve the interrogator's mood.  He grabbed Jack by the front of his uniform and picked him up out of the chair.  Jack was a little intimidated, but didn't show it.  The man growled in his face, "Let's just say that you're telling the truth.  That the US government is still operating somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.  So what?  You don't have any authority here anymore.  The President was pretty clear about that during his speech on Doomsday."

Jack found that the people scattered around the country had different names for what had happened to the world just over a year ago.  The official government name for it was Day 0.  Everything after has been a day by day struggle to contain the anarchy around the country and to keep the government functioning.  People around the country also had a strangely varying interpretation of the President's Day 0 speech.  The President said, in what Jack saw as direct and clear terms, that the US government would move the capitol to Colorado Springs, with most of the operations run out of Cheyenne Mountain.  He said that the government would suspend most civilian services for an indeterminate period, but that it was not renouncing its authority over the people of the United States.  Apparently, most people didn't see it that way.

The man dropped Jack roughly into the chair.  Jack calmly said, "The President is still alive and still the authority of the entire United States as it was on Day 0.  We have every right to come here and decommission the nuclear plant here."

The man, who had turned his back on Jack, quickly rounded and punched him squarely in the jaw.  "You can't do that!  The nuclear plant is the only thing keeping this town alive!  We sell energy to some of the surrounding communities in exchange for food.  We're one of the biggest towns left in this part of the state."

The man's reaction wasn't uncommon.  When the NFDA ran into resistance at a nuclear power plant, it was often the life blood of the community.  Jack even felt bad about that, but these people didn't have the resources to keep the plant running safely.  The agency was created, with several others, under the National Foresight Act.  The purpose of the act was to try to prevent further ecological and infrastructure harm that would be caused by misused or mistreated facilities.  Nuclear facilities were high on the list for decommissioning since they could cause widespread radiation if something went wrong.

Jack ignored his throbbing chin and said, "Listen, we know that this will be hard for you all, but it would be much, much worse if the plant had a meltdown.  The effects of a meltdown wouldn't be contained to your little town either.  The cloud of radiation would spread all over the Midwest and the jet stream would spread it all the way to the Atlantic coast.  We just can't allow that."

The man's attitude quickly turned from one of anger to desperation.  He was practically pleading when he said, "But we're taking good care of the plant!  Most of the employees that worked here before are still living in town.  We haven't had any trouble with anything at all."

Jack knew that the crisis here was coming to a resolution.  He said, "I've heard that story everywhere I've gone.  Believe me that I know that you all are taking good care of the plant right now.  However, what happens in a year or two when an essential part breaks or an essential computer fails?  You people can't manufacture those parts here locally."

The man sighed and nodded.  "I guess that you are right about that.  But what will we do?  How will our town survive?"

Jack was about to explain how the government compensates towns that cooperate when he heard a quiet, and peculiar sound outside the door.  The man didn't seem to hear it.  Since Jack recognized the sound, he said instead, "Your people will find a way.  People are resourceful.  Unfortunately for you, though, you won't live to see that."

The man didn't seem to understand.  His look of confusion was quickly replaced by fear as the door came flying into the room and three armed men rushed in.  The lead soldier shot the man once in the forehead.

Another soldier pulled out a knife and cut the bonds that were holding Jack's hands together behind his back.  Jack stood and stretched his arms and said, "It's a good thing that you guys came when you did.  I was about to have to give that fool the care package."

The four of them laughed for a moment.  The lead soldier said, "Well, we'll get this one cheap for a change."

Jack nodded and chuckled.  He asked, "Is the rest of the facility secure now?"

The others nodded.  Jack said, "In that case, let's go shutdown and disable the reactor."

Story a Week 42 - Candy Land 8

Man, it's been quite a week for my blog.  My last story has gotten 100+ views!  I'm amazed by all the great feedback that I've gotten on the story.  I hope that you all keep reading.

This week is a return to the Candy Land storyline.  It's wrapping up, with just one or two stories left.

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Queen Frostine made me sleep while she ordered her fleet to sail for the Molasses Swamp.  It had been a very long time since I had slept; I immediately fell asleep when I got a chance to lie down.  It only seemed like I was asleep for a moment when I heard Queen Frostine calling my name to wake me.  Drowsily, I stretched and asked, "Are we there already?"

I sensed some alarm in Frostine's voice as she said, "Yes, and there's something you have to see."

She led me to the deck and it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light, but when they did I could see why Queen Frostine was alarmed.  My mouth dropped as I stared out over the ocean to the shore and saw a giant hardened mud wall running the entire length of the shore.  Along the wall I could see square shaped holes that looked like the holes on the gun decks of the ships.

I turned to Queen Frostine and said, "Are those what I think they are?"

She shrugged and said, "We're not sure.  We've never seen cannons in any of their camps."  She paused.  "So far, they've ignored our presence, but who knows how long that will last."

As if on cue, a loud and deep horn like sound came from behind the wall.  Right in front of us, the wall started to split near the bottom and I could see an opening appearing there.  After a few moments, the opening appeared to have completed and a Molasses Monster appeared there with a white flag on a stick.

I looked over to Queen Frostine and said, "Shall we parley with them?"

She nodded and ordered for a dingy and rower to bring us to shore.  A few minutes later, we were standing with the Molasses Monster on the shore.  It was the first time that I had ever met one and I was a little intimidated.  The creatures are at least seven feet tall and probably the same distance around their waists.  Their shape is somewhat fluid and not well defined, but still imposing.

The creature spoke first.  "What are you doing here?" it asked bluntly.

Queen Frostine and I glanced at each other.  She subtly indicated that I should speak, so I did.  "Well...uh, sir, I've heard a rumor that a castle has recently appeared near your swamp and I'd like to request..."

It interrupted me and roared, "What do you know of the castle?"

I fought the urge to look towards Queen Frostine.  I said, "Well, that castle was originally quite a ways away from here.  It was teleported..."

Once again, it interrupted me.  It said to Queen Frostine, "Why have you brought this one here?"

For the first time, I saw Queen Frostine raise her voice.  She was practically yelling when she said, "He wants to go through your swamp to the other side!  There is no reason not to allow this.  I will go with him."

The Molasses Monster looked down at Queen Frostine for a moment.  It looked over to me and blurted, "You may pass, but the ships must leave."

I looked over to the queen and she nodded.  She turned to the sailor who had rowed us to shore and gestured for him to leave.  He saluted and jumped into the boat.

"Follow me," the creature said.

It walked through the opening in the door and I could see that it immediately began to close.  Frostine and I ran through the opening.  "These guys are faster than they look," I said.  Queen Frostine grunted her agreement.

I took a moment to look around.  Behind me, I saw some sort of mud mortars on the walls sticking out the holes.  In front of me, I saw an apparently endless swamp.  Queen Frostine gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder and followed the monster, carefully picking her way through the swamp.  I quickly followed.  Like I said, those Molasses Monsters are quicker than they look.

After a few hours of treading through the swamp, we finally came to the end.  The Molasses Monster stopped at the edge and waited for us to walk out onto the plain before wordlessly turning back.

I turned to Queen Frostine and asked, "So, where do we go from here?"

The question was answered for me when I heard a rumbling behind me.  I cautiously turned around and saw the largest creature that I've ever seen.  It was obviously a Molasses Monster, of sorts.  It was twice the size of the one that had led them out to the plains.  I stared at the creature for a few moments while it made a rumbling sound.  After a few moments, I realized that the creature was laughing.

After another moment of laughing, the creature spoke.  "You are looking for the castle that came out of nowhere?"

I didn't know what to make of this development, so I just mumbled, "Uh, yeah."

The monster laughed again.  "You'll never find it on your own.  The plains are vast."

I glanced over at Queen Frostine and she just shrugged.  I said, "Do you know where it is?"

The creature shook in a way that I took as a nod, but it didn't say anything.  I asked, "Will you tell us, or take us there?"

It shook in a different way that looked more like a no.  "Well, what use are you then?"

The monster laughed again.  "I like you, man.  If you give me a gift, I will take you to the castle.  What say you?"

I looked at Frostine again and shrugged.  I whispered to her, "Do you have anything to give the monster?  I don't..."

Suddenly I remembered what Mr. Mint had given to me.  I reached into my inside pocket and pulled out the Chocolate Peppermint Flute.  I said, "Well, Mr. Monster..."

The monster interrupted me.  "My name is Gloppy!"

I hesitated for a moment, and then continued,"Um... Gloppy, then.  Will you take this flute in exchange for showing us where the castle is?"

Gloppy gasped.  "What a beautiful flute!  That will indeed be sufficient payment for this task."

He strode forward and plucked the flute out of my hand.  He continued moving without a break and walked westward out into the plain.  He went so fast that Frostine and I had trouble keeping up at a walking pace.

We walked for what seemed like hours.  I was having a little trouble keeping up the pace when we came to a steep hill.  Gloppy and Frostine reached the top of the hill first and I heard Frostine gasp.  I shook my exhaustion away and ran to the top of the hill.  The sight I saw was breathtaking.  Candy Land Castle was there on the plain below us.  Beautiful, fertile fields surrounded the castle for as far as the eye could see.

It struck me then that what Lord Licorice had done.  He'd solved one of the kingdom's greatest troubles.  Here in front of us was the vast farmland that our kingdom needed to continue to prosper.  Who would have guessed that the kingdom's greatest villain would ultimately be its savior?  All of the worry and dread of the last few days washed away as I passed Gloppy and Frostine in a sprint down the hill to the castle.

Story a Week 41 - What I've Done

Hello everyone!  This week's Story a Week is a flash fiction challenge from Chuck Wendig.  Basically, you hit shuffle in a media player and take the song title and write a story based on it.  I got "What I've Done" by Linkin Park.  I think that made it easier, since the title is pretty generic and kind of thought provoking in itself.  He put a 500 word limit on it and I'm coming in at 484 words.  I hope that you enjoy it.

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"Truth be told, I'm not proud of it.  They say that people do what they need to do to survive, but I don't know if I can live with this.  Sometimes I think that it might have been better to have just lost everything than to do what I've done.  I don't even want to talk about it, but I feel like if I keep it bottled up any longer that I'll explode.

"There are times, of course, that I forget about it.  There are times that, when I look at how my family is thriving after the crisis, that I think that it may have been worth it.  Those times are rare.  When I lay in bed at night, next to my beautiful wife... even the warmth of her body next to me isn't enough to keep those feelings away.

"Sometimes I get so angry at myself for it.  Sometimes, while I'm driving alone in the car, I'll yell, 'You would have lost everything, you fool!  You have to do this to keep your house and your family together!'

"I know that I'm not the only one who has done the same thing that I have.  I know that I'm not alone, but that doesn't console me either.  I don't know that anything can console me.  Being a part of that group shouldn't make anyone proud.

"My family doesn't know about it, of course.  My wife doesn't ask where I go, or where the money comes from.  I don't think that she wants to know.  I'm afraid that if I tell them that they would leave.  I did it for them, to have them leave now would be the end of me.  It would have been all for nothing.  They can't know about this.

"Maybe that's why I'm telling you all of this.  You're a stranger to me.  It can't hurt to have someone else know.  Someone has to know.  I just can't keep it to myself any longer.

"You won't judge me, right?  You can't judge me.  You don't even know me."

The man stood there for a moment.  He just looked at me with desperation, anger and fear in his eyes.  I said, "Um, I just wanted a coffee, man, not your life story."

He looked confused for a moment, then down at his clothes.  He sounded sorrowful as he said, "I still can't believe that I got a second job as a barista."  He sighed, then blurted out, "That will be $4.55."

I handed him a fiver and told him to keep the change.  After I got my coffee, I hurried back to my car.  My wife asked me, "What took you so long?"

I replied, "I just heard the saddest story.  I feel bad for him, but I think he did the right thing."

My wife was obviously confused, but I just shook my head and we drove away.

Story a Week 40 - Candy Land 7

Welcome to another edition of Story a Week!  This week is another episode of the Candy Land series.  We've rounded the bend and are coming up to the end.  I think maybe three more stories after this one, though I'm not quite sure yet.

I haven't posted a plain blog post in quite a while.  I think that I'll think of something to write and do that this week or next.  Maybe something about the holidays.  Dunno, we'll see.

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I was dazed.  "How did I get here?" I asked.

"I don't know for sure," the woman replied.  "Some strange things have been happening around here lately.  The Queen of the Baked Alaska Islands has ordered her float-illa mobilized to patrol the sea.  You appeared out of nowhere on the flagship.  As long as you don't cause any trouble, I won't have you confined to the brig, yet."

I looked around the ship and saw many sailors standing with weapons ready.  I must have been coming out of my daze as I realized that the sailors had been ready to leap on me if I made a wrong move.  I took a deep breath to steady myself.  I'd never been on a ship before and I was starting to feel a little queasy.  I said, "I'm sorry to drop in like this, but I assure you that it was against my will.  I think that it was pure luck that I dropped onto your ship rather than into the sea."

She looked me over and said, "Well, good or bad luck remains to be seen.  Tell me who you are."

I could tell by her tone that her patience was running thin.  "My name is Ap LePie," I said.  I told her my tale from that fateful call from Plumpy all the way up to being teleported to her ship.

After I was finished, she nodded and stared at me for a moment.  Finally, she said, "Okay, Mr. LePie.  I believe your story.  Follow me."

She walked back towards a door at the rear of the deck.  We went through the door to a large cabin.  Within was a large table with a stack of maps, a desk and a bed.  The woman walked over to the table and began to shuffle through the maps.

I looked around the room and asked, "Are you the captain of the ship?"

She continued to look through the maps as she said, "No.  The captain was nice enough to let me use his cabin while I'm aboard.  Ah, here it is."

She pulled out a map and spread it out on the clear part of the table.  The area it represented wasn't familiar to me.  She said, "Based on what you've told me, I think that I know where your king is."

Her news sent waves of excitement through my body.  I couldn't believe that I'd stumbled on someone who knew where the king was.  "Really?  Where is he?  How do you know?"

She laughed and said, "Calm down, Mr. LePie.  Let me tell you a story of my own.

"The people of the Baked Alaskan Islands love the sea.  We trade with everyone who lives on the shores of the sea.  From the Peeps Tribes on the northern shores to the Gummy Bear Tribes on the south shore.  There is only one set of people that refuse to trade with us.  The Molasses Monsters are a Xenophobic people who live on the western shores of the sea in the Molasses Swamp.  However, lately we've had some contact with them and they've told us a tale of a castle appearing out of nowhere in the Butterscotch Plains to the west of the swamp."

She pointed at the map.  "Here is the swamp.  And here," she moved her hand west, "is the plains.  Your king and his castle must be there."

I stared at the map in disbelief.  I was finally getting close to finding the king!  "Well... wait.  I don't even know your name yet."

She looked me over once more and said, "Okay, I think that I can trust you.  I am Queen Frostine III, the Queen of the Baked Alaskan Islands."

"Oh," was all I could say.  I felt a little silly, so I said, "Thank you for the information, your majesty.  But...I think that I have a favor to ask you."

She nodded, so I continued, "Well, would you be able to drop me off at the swamp so that I can make my way to the castle?"

The queen looked down at the map for a moment, then back up at me.  "Mr. LePie, I'll do you one better.  I will accompany you through the swamp to the castle."

"You majesty!" I burst out.  "You can't do that!"

Queen Frostine scowled at me.  "Two reasons that I will be going with you."  She stuck out a finger and said, "One, I'm the Queen and you can't tell me what I can or cannot do."  She stuck out a second finger and said, "Second, you're going to need help.  The Molasses Monsters don't know you and won't let you through their swamp without me."

I could tell that she wasn't going to be swayed.  I sighed and said, "All right.  You may come with me."

Story a Week 39 - Candy Land 6

Hello everyone!  I had a dream this week about how a movie studio wanted to use my stories to make a movie.  Ever since, I've been thinking about who might play some of the roles.  My thoughts so far:

• Ap LePie - Joel McHale
• Plumpy - Patton Oswald
• Lord Licorice - Jeremy Irons
• Princess Lolly - Cherize Theron (sp?)

I think that Jolly and the bears would have to be CGI.  That's all I've got so far.  Do you have any thoughts on who would play some of the roles?

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It took some time for the tribes to agree, but they finally did and the combined kingdom and tribe forces assembled outside of the woods.  It took a couple of hours, but once we were all assembled, I led everyone back towards the Peanut Brittle Patches.

Princess Lolly, Circu S'Peanut and Lemo N'Drop walked with me.  I said, "Gramma Nutt has promised to lead us through the patches so that we don't have to chop any of them down.  I promised her that we wouldn't do anything to harm them.  Can you spread the word among the troops?"

The three of them nodded and spread the word.  About an hour later we arrived at the edge of the patches, and, as promised, Gramma Nutt was there waiting for us.  The four of us walked over to her and I said, "It's good to see you, Gramma Nutt.  I've shared our agreement with the forces here."

Gramma Nutt glanced around as we approached and gestured for us to be quiet.  She came in close and whispered, "Lord Licorice has sent spies into the patches, following you, Mr. LePie.  A dozen or so Swedish Fishmen are now wandering in circles through the patches."

I smiled at her.  "I don't know how you do it, Gramma Nutt, but I'm glad you're on our side."

She glared at me and said, "Let's get this straight, bucko; I'm not on your side.  I'm on my side."  She pointed her finger at Princess Lolly.  "I want an agreement signed after all this is over that says your kingdom will build a new road that goes around the patches instead of through it!"

Princess Lolly glanced over at me and I slyly nodded.  She said, "Of course, Gramma Nutt!  I don't know why we never did that before!"

Gramma Nutt grunted and without another word she turned and headed into the patches.

Princess Lolly and I shrugged at each other and followed her.

To this day, I don't know how we did it, but we managed to get through the patches in just over an hour without losing anyone.  We emerged from the patches and the commanders set about counting their troops.  I turned to Gramma Nutt and thanked her for her help.  She grunted and said, "If I don't get what I want from your kingdom, no one will ever get through the patches again.  Don't you mistake me, Ap LePie, I don't intend on killing anyone.  It's just that everyone who enters will find themselves leaving the same side of the patches that they entered after a couple of hours of walking.  Understand?"

I nodded and said, "Princess Lolly will make sure that a new road is built."

She shrugged and nodded then turned and walked into the patches.

I turned and found Princess Lolly and the Gummy Bear chiefs.  After another moment or two we had the army moving on its way again.

It wasn't long before we had Licorice Castle in sight.  Everything looked much as it had before I left.  Colonel Crunch must have seen us coming as he was coming out to meet us.  When he got in speaking range, he said, "Please tell me that the bears are here as allies and not guiding a defeated army home?"

I thought about teasing him about it, but I thought better of it.  Instead, I said, "We've asked them to help us convince the Lord of the error in his ways and they've agreed."

Colonel Crunch nodded and smiled.  He said, "Good.  We'll array them in the front flanks with the siege ladders that we've been making."  He glanced up at the sky, judging the time.  I noticed that it was getting dark.  "We won't have time to properly set up our lines tonight, so the bears can camp wherever they like that is behind the front line.  Princess Lolly, your troops can camp with mine."

We all agreed on Colonel Crunch's plan and set things into motion.  When everything was moving, Colonel Crunch said, "Princess, Ap, let me show you the preparations we've been making."

The princess and I followed him to a large tent in the center of the camp.  Inside the tent was a large table with a map and figures on it.  Upon closer inspection, I saw that the map was of the castle and surrounding area.  The figures on the table represented some number of troops.  There were three giant-shaped ones and a dozen or so smaller pieces.

Colonel Crunch pointed to the table and said, "Sergeant Ers and I have come up with a plan to attack the castle.  I knew how many troops you had, but I didn't know that you'd be bringing reinforcements with you.  We'll have to redraw up the plan, but I think that the basics will remain the same."

Suddenly, a soldier ran into the tent and up to the colonel and saluted and waited.  Colonel Crunch barked out, "Report!"

"Sir!  The drawbridge has lowered and Lord Licorice is waving a white flag.  I think that he wants to parley, sir," the soldier said quickly.

Crunch looked over to me and Princess Lolly.  She looked at me.  I said, "I think that I should go alone.  I don't want either of you where Licorice can easily get them."  I chuckled and said, "I'm not that valuable of a hostage."

I walked out of the tent, then the camp.  I could see Licorice waiting for me at the gate to the castle.  When I got to the edge of the drawbridge, I stopped.  We weren't in speaking range so we just glared at each other for a few moments.  Finally, he shook his head and chuckled.  He confidently walked over to me and said, "You are one stubborn man, Ap LePie."

"What do you want, Licorice?  The army and I are preparing to storm your castle," I retorted.

The smirk disappeared from his face.  He growled, "This castle isn't going down that easily, LePie.  Even with your pet Gummy Bears."

It was my turn to growl as I said, "I disagree, Licorice.  I'll see you soon, Licorice.  On the inside of your castle's walls!"

I turned to leave and Lord Licorice quickly grabbed me before I could react.  He pulled me close and said, "I don't think so, LePie."

I was beginning to think that he was going to kill me rather than let me go back to the camp.  Instead, he dropped me and pulled out some sort of wand.  He waved it at me and I closed my eyes.  That's when I felt the magic hit me.  It felt like I dropped a couple of feet onto something soft and squishy.  I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a beautiful woman.

"Wh-where am I?" I managed to stutter.

She extended her hand and I took it.  As she helped me to my feet she said, "You are aboard the Queen Frostine, sailing on the Ice Cream Sea."

I looked out and saw several other Ice Cream Floatships sailing with the Queen Frostine.  Somehow, I'd been transported a couple of hundred miles to the Ice Cream Sea.

Story a Week 38 - Candy Land 5

I wrote this story last week at the same time that I wrote the last one.  Actually, they were meant to be the same story, but it had gotten too long.  I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving.  My family did.

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Without saying another word, the bears pushed me forward.  Orange walked in front and the yellow one behind me as they led me through the woods.  About fifteen minutes later, the led me to the edge of a clearing.  I looked into the clearing and saw a palisade built from the trunks of the Lollypop trees.  I asked, "The Cookie Patrol is in that makeshift fort?"

The two bears nodded.  Orange said, "You better go out with a white flag.  Whenever one of our bears leaves the protection of the woods, he comes back with an arrow embedded in his body."  The two bears laughed.  "Of course, that doesn't hurt us much."

I looked and saw several puncture wounds on both the bears.  I took my hanky from my pocket and held it up as I walked out of the woods.  No arrows flew in my direction, but after I came within a dozen yards of the palisade, I heard, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

I yelled back, "Uh, my name is Ap LePie and I've come from the Candy Land Kingdom.  I need to speak to Princess Lolly."

I faintly heard the sound of voices on the top of the palisade, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.  After a moment or two, the same voice called out.  "Come to the gate."

I turned to look back at the woods, but couldn't see the bears anymore.  I walked around the wall until I found the gate.  It was open just a crack.  One the other side was Princess Lolly.  "Mr. LePie.  What do you want?"

I could tell that she remembered me.  Even so, she didn't seem happy to see me.  I replied, "We need to talk about your father and why you're here."

She made a frustrated sound and growled, "I'm here because these bears know where my father is.  I was hoping to quickly beat them as they weren't terribly organized, but there are just too many of them."

Her comments made me quite confused.  I said, "I don't know where you got your information from, Princess, but the bears are innocent.  Lord Licorice is the one responsible for making your father disappear."

She stared at me blankly for a moment.  "They can't be.  I got a ransom letter from them the same day he disappeared."

I didn't know where the letter might have come from, but I had some ideas.  I said, "Well, princess, I don't know what to say about that, but I do know quite a bit about the situation.  I have Colonel Crunch's garrison besieging Licorice Castle while he waits for your army.  The Gumdrop Giants are helping, for now, but they aren't comfortable with the situation.  I think that your royal presence might convince them that the alliance with us is worth fighting for."

She replied, "But what about the bears?  We've been fighting them for a couple of days now and I don't think that they're just going to let us go back through their woods."

I knew that she was right.  The bears were very unhappy about what had transpired the last few days.  I gave it some serious thought for a moment, and then inspiration hit.  "Well, your majesty, if you'd be willing to come with me to the edge of the woods, I think that we can work something out."

She looked at me doubtfully and said, "You're going to have to give me more than that, Mr. LePie.  I think that those bears are just as likely to shoot me unarmed as they are to look at me right now."

I glanced back over my shoulder at the woods and said, "Tell you what.  How about I bring a couple of them, unarmed mind you, to the clearing and you come out too.  We can have some peace talks out there in the open where everyone can see."

She gave the matter some thought and finally nodded.  I turned and walked to the edge of the woods and saw an orange and yellow bear waiting there for me.  "Are you the same bears that brought me here?" I asked.

They laughed at me for a couple of moments.  The orange one said, "I like you, Ap LePie.  My name is Circu S'Peanut and this is Lemo N'Drop.  We're two of the cheiftans of the Lollypop Gummy Bear Tribes.  What did your princess say?"

"I've arranged for her to meet us in the clearing to discuss terms of peace," I said.  "If you don't mind coming unarmed, of course."

They nodded and proceeded to leave their weapons on the ground and followed me out into the clearing.  Princess Lolly left the fort a moment later, also unarmed.  We met in the middle of the clearing.  When introductions were complete, I said, "Now that we're all here, I'd like to fill you all in on what's been going on around Candy Land."

I told them my tale all the way from my office to that very moment standing there with them.  Afterwards, I said, "So, my idea is to form an alliance between the Lollypop Gummy Bear Tribes and Candy Land Kingdom to defeat Lord Licorice."

Princess Lolly nodded right away and said, "I think that sounds like a fabulous idea!  The Candy Land Kingdom agrees."

The two bears looked at each other.  Circu shook his head and said, "We certainly empathize with the situation that your kingdom is dealing with, but we don't think that we will help you.  Helping you would put many of our tribesmen into danger needlessly."

I quickly responded, "It may seem like that now, sure, but you both don't know the troubles that the Candy Land Kingdom has been internally facing the last few years.  If Lord Licorice has his way and succeeds in toppling the legitimate King and his family, he won't stop there.  The kingdom is running out of viable farmland and the Lord knows it.  Before he started his little coup, he had been urging the king to expand the frontier.  To widen the kingdom's borders.  Do you know where those borders lie today, Circu?"

Circu and Lemo looked thoughtful.  Circu said, "We don't have a formal border with the kingdom because we haven't much needed one, but the Peanut Brittle Patches would be it, pretty much."

Lemo nodded and added, "Yes, and if you push the border much this way, you're getting into the Lollypop Woods."

Circu and Lemo looked at each other again and Lemo nodded to Circu.  Circu turned to me and said, "We'll have to discuss this with the rest of the tribes, of course, but I think that we'll agree to help you.  Afterwards, though, we'll want to formalize a border and such in a treaty."

Princess Lolly agreed and the two bears went on their way.  She turned to me and said, "Thank you, Mr. LePie.  I think that you just saved the kingdom."

Story a Week 27 - Candy Land 4

Week 37!  I had this story (and the next one) finished yesterday, but I forgot to post it this morning before we left for my grandmother's birthday party.  Man, what a drive.  For those who don't know, I live in Minnesota and we had a nice freezing rain/snow shower this morning on our way up north.  Also, blizzard-like conditions on the way back.  Ugh.

Anyway, enjoy this week's story!

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After leaving Lord Licorice's castle, I headed west towards the Peanut Brittle Patches.  If you've never been there, the patches are a large field of Peanut Brittle Bushes.  The place is like a maze.  Every now and then, the Cookie Patrol chops out a path that roughly follows the original path of the Candy Land Road, but the bushes grow back quite quickly and travelers can get easily lost in there.  I just hoped that I didn't fall victim to that as well.

The plus side of going through the patches was that the food was plentiful.  I hadn't eaten since leaving the Gingerplum Forest and I was quite hungry.  I picked some brittle and ate it as I tried to navigate the patches, but it was hopeless.  Each turn I made looked exactly like the one before it.  Pretty soon, I was all turned around and couldn't tell which way I was going.  To make matters worse, a fog had started to roll in; hiding the sun from me so that I couldn't even tell which way was west or east.

I found myself trying to decide if I should keep trying to navigate the patches, or wait for someone to try to find me.  The only problem with the second option was that no one was looking for me.  I stood there for a couple of moments before I heard someone humming.  I drew my revolver, and quietly headed towards the person.  After a rounding a couple of corners, I saw her.  It was the legendary Gramma Nut!  I say legendary because not many people have ever met her.  She's mostly thought to be a Candy Land Myth, but here she was in the flesh!

I stood there for a moment, not sure how to proceed when she said, "You can come out from hiding there, dearie.  I won't hurt you."

I instantly felt foolish and came out into the open.  I asked, "How did you know I was there?  You have your back to me."

She turned and gave me a big smile, "Oh dearie, this is my patch.  I know everything that goes on in them.  I know that you've been wandering around in circles for over an hour.  I thought you could use some help."

I was still a little suspicious.  I didn't know which side of the conflict that Gramma Nut would be on.  After all, she did live awfully close to Licorice Castle.  I said, "Would you help me find my way back to the road?  I need to get to the Lollypop Woods and find Princess Lolly."

Gramma Nut frowned.  She said, "That Princess and her army came through here a couple of days ago and cleared out a lot of my bushes.  It took me hours to set things right again.  I don't appreciate people tearing down my precious bushes."

She sure wasn't what I expected.  I said, "Well, Gramma Nut, when I find the princess, I will tell her how you feel about the matter."

Gramma Nut waggled a finger at me and responded, "Now, sonny, if you're planning on bringing that whole army on back to destroy my Peanut Brittle Patch again, you've got to think again.  I don't want those ravagers back in my bushes!"

I thought hard for a few moments about how to handle the situation.  Finally, I shrugged and asked, "Well, Gramma Nut, how can I convince you to let us through your patches?"

She smiled sweetly at me and replied, "I never said I wouldn't let you through.  You'll just have to have me guide the army through so that I can keep an eye on them and you all make it through safely."

"So, if I bring the army back later today or tomorrow, you'll be here waiting to guide us through the patches?"

Gramma Nut smiled and I couldn't help but believe her.  "Okay, Gramma Nut.  You have a deal."

She smiled at me and indicated that I should follow her.  We walked for an hour in absolute silence.  I followed her through twists and turns and I knew that without her, I wouldn't have been able to find my way.  I might have been lost for days without her help.  The most amazing part of it all was that the fog just got thicker and thicker, but it didn't even faze her in the least.  An hour or two later, it was hard to tell without being able to see the sun; we reached the northern edge of the Peanut Brittle Patches.  I thanked Gramma Nut and followed the road to the northeast towards the Lollypop Woods.

I entered the woods and found myself wondering how to find the army.  The woods were quite large and I had never ventured this far along the Candy Land Road before.  I also didn't know much about the woods or who might live there.  I was thinking these things to myself when I suddenly found myself hanging upside down a couple of feet from the ground.  I looked down, or up rather, at my foot and saw a rope wrapped around my ankle.  I mentally kicked myself for not paying closer attention to my surroundings.  I started to formulate a plan, when I saw movement out of the corner of my eyes.  I looked over and saw two gummy bears whispering to each other and pointing at me.  I mentally shrugged and called out to them, "Hey, can you help me down?"

They walked over and I saw that they were armed with crude bows and spears.  One of them was yellow and one was orange.  The orange one said, "No, I don't think we'll do that, quite yet.  You'll have to be interrogated first."

"Interrogated?" I said.  "For what?"

The yellow one laughed and said, "As a spy for Princess Lolly, of course."

"I don't know what's going on," I said.  "I'm not a spy for anyone; I just need to talk to Princess Lolly to bring her to help fight Lord Licorice!"

The bears looked at each other for a moment.  The orange one said, "Who is Lord Licorice and why would you want to have the princess fight him?"

I sighed and said, "Lord Licorice is the one responsible for the King of Candy Land's disappearance!  We currently have his castle under siege, but we don't have enough forces to take it from him."

The orange bear nodded to the yellow one who pulled a dagger off of his belt and cut the rope.  I landed quite roughly on my shoulder and lay on my back for a while trying to breath after the fall knocked the breath out of me.  The two bears stood over me for a moment before roughly pulling me to my feet.  Orange said, "If you're serious about getting the princess out of our wood, we'll help you.  However, if you are deceiving us in any way..."  He ran a finger over his throat to make sure I got the message.

I nodded to indicate that I understood and said, "Right.  Well, I don't know what possessed the princess to bring the Cookie Patrol out of the Candy Land Kingdom, but I'll talk her down.  Where is she?"

The two bears smiled viciously at each other.  Yellow said, "You might say that we've got a little siege of our own going.  Come on."

Story a Week 36 - Candy Land 3

Hello everyone!  Sorry about the post being a day late, the family and I were out of town for the weekend.  As you probably know, we bought a new van and this weekend it was scraped by someone at the hotel we were staying at.  Ugh.  We've only had the thing for six days!

Anyway, enjoy this new installment of the Candy Land storyline!

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After I left Mr. Mint's Royal Peppermint Forest, I headed north around an arm of the Gumdrop Mountains and up into them following Candy Land Road.  I arrived at the predetermined meeting place where Gumdrop Mountain Pass met the road a couple of hours before dawn.  The platoon was nowhere in sight, so I decided to catch a catnap while I could.  I chose a spot not far off of the road so that the sounds of the platoon marching would wake me.

The sound of a deep rumbling woke me and I was startled to find a giant standing over me!  The rumbling had been the giant laughing.  As I was trying to figure out how to not be eaten by the giant, he bent down towards me and said, "Not to worry, little one!  I am Jolly, the Official Gumdrop Mountains Greeter!"

Confused, I sat up and leaned against the tree that was behind me.  "Official Gumdrop Mountains Greeter?  I've never heard of that before."

Jolly stood up and nodded.  "Yes, I get that a lot.  Or, I would if more people took the road through the mountains rather than taking the Rainbow Bridge.  It's a rather new position.  I just signed a treaty between my people and the King of Candy Land last week.  We are to guarantee that the Gumdrop Mountain Pass and the Candy Land Road stay clear and our people will maintain good relations and trade with the King."

"Okay, Jolly," I said as I stood up.  "I think that I will have to invoke that alliance right now, then.  The King has disappeared, along with his castle, and the Kingdom is in danger."

Jolly looked taken aback.  He stuttered as he said, "Um, well, you see... W...we're not exactly the w...warrior types.  We're peaceful Gumdrop Giants.  We've never fought anyone before."

I had an idea, but it wouldn't work without the giants.  I said, "Well, Jolly, if all goes well, there won't be a need to fight.  All I need is for you and your tribe to get together and follow the platoon and myself to Lord Licorice's castle."

Jolly looked a little skeptical, but he nodded all the same.  "Follow me, then and..."

He didn't get a chance to finish as another Gumdrop Giant came running up calling his name.  When he arrived, he was out of breath and tried talking, "Jolly!  There's been...an avalanche...in the pass!"

Before Jolly could answer, I said, "Do you know if the platoon from the garrison in the pass made it through?"

The other giant shook his head and said, "No, but the avalanche is blocking their path."

I turned to Jolly and said, "Do avalanches happen a lot in the pass?"

He shook his head.  "Not really, one every couple of years, I guess.  They almost never block the entire path.  We've already had one this year too, so this is strange."

I was wondering if Lord Licorice could be involved, but I didn't have any ideas on how to find out.  I said, "Let's go to the pass and clear it out."

Jolly and I headed for the pass and the other giant went to their village to get more help.  As we walked, I spent the time trying to figure out how Lord Licorice seemed to be staying one step ahead of us.  Before I could figure out the answer, we arrived at where the avalanche was blocking the path.  Jolly started grabbing large chunks of ice and snow and moving them by hand.  I waited and watched until the other giants arrived with shovels.  They even had one my size.  With the whole tribe working, it didn't take long at all to clear out the path.  Sergeant Snick Ers and the rest of the platoon were waiting on the other side.  I shook hands with Snick when the path was clear.

He said, "I was about to suggest to Colonel Crunch that we start back and go around using the Candy Land Road when we heard you all digging."

He led me over to where Colonel Crunch was giving orders.  "Congratulations on your promotion from Captain, Colonel," I said.


He thanked me and asked, "What's going on, Ap?  I see you have the giants with you."

"Yes I do.  The Gumdrop Giants have agreed to escort us to Licorice Castle.  If there's any fighting though, they haven't agreed to that.  We'll just bring them along for the intimidation factor," I said.

He nodded and said, "Let's move out, then.  Sergeant, give the order."

We marched out of the path and to the Road.  A couple of hours later, we arrived at the castle.  It was obvious that the Lord had prepared the castle for a siege.  There were Bitter Chocolate Bats and Black Licorice Crows flying above the castle; Black Jellybeanmen on the ramparts armed with bows and spears; and the drawbridge was up.

Colonel Crunch, Sergeant Ers, Jolly and I spoke while the platoon and tribe were getting arrayed on the field outside the castle.  I said, "I don't think that we have enough forces to take the castle."

Colonel Crunch nodded his agreement and said, "We'll array our forces in a siege around the castle, well out of range of their bows, mind you, Sergeant."

I nodded and said, "Good, I'll head up the road to the Lollypop Woods and see if I can convince Princess Lolly to come back here with the rest of the Patrol."

We all agreed on the plan and I continued on the road to the west.  Before I got too far the sound of the drawbridge of the castle coming down stopped me.  We all turned and saw Lord Licorice standing alone on the bridge with a white flag in his hand.  Colonel Crunch indicated that I should come with and he and I walked to the edge of the bridge.  Lord Licorice and I just stared at each other, contempt on our faces for a few moments.  Finally, he said, "It looks like you all have decided to pay me a little visit.  What, pray tell, has brought you here?"

I had had enough of his pretentions.  I said, "You know full well what has brought us here.  The King is missing and you know where he is.  Tell us where, or we'll level your castle with you in it."

Lord Licorice glanced over my shoulder and laughed.  "With that pitiful rabble?  You wouldn't even get to the walls."

I glanced over to Colonel Crunch and he said, "You might be right about that, Licorice, but we're going to siege you anyway."

The Lord glared at him and growled, "You do that.  It won't make any difference and it won't help you find the King.  We're done here."

Colonel Crunch shrugged and turned back towards camp.  I said, "You won't get away with this, Licorice."

He smiled evilly at me and said, "I will see you soon, Mr. LePie."

He turned his back on me and walked into his castle.  I growled and turned away in frustration.  Colonel Crunch and I returned to the army and relayed what happened to Snick and Jolly.  I told them that I had to get on my way and said my goodbyes.  I knew that I would have to go through the Peanut Brittle Patches to get to the Lollypop Woods.  I hoped that I could navigate my way through the patches without too much trouble.  They were like a maze and the Road wasn't clearly marked.

Story a Week 35 - Candy Land 2

 Even with my efforts to write a story for NaNoWriMo, I've managed to take the time to write another Story a Week.  This is a continuation on the Candy Land storyline.  It's quite a bit longer, coming in at around 1,600 words.  I tried to edit it down a bit, but I didn't even get as far into the story as I would have liked with this chapter.  Oh well.  I hope that you enjoy the story!

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I returned to the Candy Land Road and started heading east towards the Royal Peppermint Forest.  It wasn't long before I ran into trouble though.  After a few minutes on the road, I turned a corner and was ambushed by some Black Licorice Crows.  They must have been sent by Lord Licorice to slow me down.  They swooped down at me over and over again, but about the only damage they did to me was to take my hat.  About the only thing that accomplished was to make me mad.

I pulled out my revolver and took aim at a few of the crows.  Before I could get a shot off, a net flew up into the air from behind a bush at the side of the road.  The net caught most of the crows, including the one that had my hat, and dragged them to the ground.  I cheered when the two or three remaining crows flew off to the north.

I was still on guard, though.  Whoever had trapped those crows hadn't yet come into sight around that bush.  I kept my revolver out, but pointed it to the ground as I called out, "Thank you!  Those crows were a real nuisance."

Two gingerbread men from the Cookie Patrol strolled out from behind the bush and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I even recognized one of them as Sergeant Snick Ers.  I waved and said, "Sergeant Ers, it's good to see you!"

He waved to me and indicated that I should come over to the net.  He was directing the other member of the squad to tie down the net as I approached.  He grabbed my hat from under the net and handed it to me.  He said, "Well if it isn't Ap LePie.  What are you doing wandering the Candy Land Road?"

I was wondering if the patrol had gotten word of the King's disappearance.  I wanted to be discreet, so I said, "I'm looking for the King."

Both of them stopped what they were doing and gave each other a concerned look.  Snick said, "So, you know about that, huh?"

"Yeah, Snick," I replied.  "Plumpy called me after he found out."  Something else was puzzling me though.  I asked him, "If the Cookie Patrol knows about the King's disappearance, what are you doing here?"

Snick took me by the shoulder and led me away from the crows and his subordinate.  Once we were out of earshot he said, "Look, Ap.  The kingdom appreciates everything you've done for us in the past, but I think that this one is a little over your head.  Princess Lolly has taken command of the Patrol and has lead most of the army to the Lollypop Woods to search for the King."

"The Lollypop Woods!" I yelled.  "What is she doing up there?  Doesn't she know anything?"

"Hold on, there Ap," he placed his hand on my shoulder to try to calm me down.  "What are you talking about?"

I sighed and told him about Plumpy and the Plumpa trolls.  Afterwards, I said, "You know that the crows are working for Lord Licorice too, don't you?"

Snick glanced back at the crows, then at me.  He said, "Yeah, but we just figured that he was up to his old tricks, not trying to take over the kingdom."  He looked thoughtfully at me and said, "Where are you heading, Ap?"

I thought about it for a moment.  My run-in with the crows proved that I couldn't take on Lord Licorice by myself.  I said, "Well, I had planned on going to Licorice Castle to confront the Lord, but I'm not so sure that it's a good idea to go by myself."

Snick nodded and said, "Yes, it's too dangerous for you to go alone.  Tell you what; I'm going to head up to the garrison in Gumdrop Pass.  I'll tell the commander there about the news that you've given me.  I'll meet you where the pass meets the road on the northern side."

I looked at him a little puzzled and asked, "Why don't I just go with you to the garrison?"

Snick laughed and said, "Well, Ap, that's a good question.  You need to stop by the Royal Peppermint Forest and tell Mr. Mint to step up the production of Peppermint spears, just in case we have a long drawn out war on our hands.  Who knows what kind of preparations Lord Licorice has already made."

I nodded to him and said, "That sounds like a plan.  I'll meet you on the north end of the pass where it meets the road."

He nodded to me and I continued on my way down the road.  The walk to the Royal Peppermint Forest took a couple of hours and was very uneventful.  When I got to the forest, I saw that all of the tree harvesting machinery was sitting unused.  I didn't see any lumberjacks around, so I went to Mr. Mint's foreman's cabin.  Now, before I go any further in the story, I need to mention that I'd never met Mr. Mint before.  Of course, I'd heard of him, who hasn't heard of the great lumberjack, Mr. Mint?  Even though I'd heard the stories, they really didn't prepare me for when I walked through that door and saw the contents of his cabin.

You probably know this already, but Peppermint trees can be used for pretty much anything.  As Snick had told me, they are used to make spears.  They also make good masts for ships sailing the Ice Cream Sea.  Mr. Mint likes to make wind instruments from them.  It's widely known that he has a large collection of these instruments.  When I walked through that door, I saw instruments everywhere!  I'm telling you that there were flutes on the floor, piccolos on the patio, clarinets stacked to the ceiling.  You get the picture.  In the middle of it all, there sat Mr. Mint whittling away at a piece of Peppermint tree with a knife.  He didn't even seem to notice that I'd entered.

I walked over to where he was sitting and cleared my throat.  He looked up at me and said, "Who are you?"

"My name is Ap LePie; we've never met, but..."

He interrupted me, saying, "Oh!  Ap LePie, the famous private investigator!  How nice to meet you!"  He waved his arm around the room and asked, "Have you come to purchase something?"

I shook my head and said, "Uh, no thank you Mr. Mint.  I've been sent here by Sergeant Ers.  He'd like you to start producing Peppermint Spears for the Cookie Patrol."

Mr. Mint scratched his head.  "I don't think that I can do that for you, Mr. LePie."

I was stunned; all I could say was, "Why not?"

He looked really confused.  I could see some sort of internal battle taking place in his head.  After a moment, one of the sides seemed to win the battle and he just shrugged and mumbled, "Dunno."

Frustrated, I turned and kicked a pile of piccolos that was nearby.  The small instruments went flying everywhere.  I was about to turn back to try and talk some sense into Mr. Mint when I saw something shiny buried in the piccolos.  Puzzled, I bent down and threw a couple piccolos to the side to uncover the thing.  It ended up being some sort of crystal ball.  I picked it up and felt an immense sense of apathy course through my body.  I dropped the ball and immediately felt more like myself.  Suddenly, Mr. Mint's refusal to help made sense.  Someone had left this crystal ball in his office that produced a feeling of apathy towards the world.  Mr. Mint coped by creating the things that he loved and ignoring the outside world.

I quickly picked up the ball and chucked it against the nearest wall as hard as I could.  The thing cracked, but didn't break.  Behind me, Mr. Mint let out a yelp.  I looked over to him and he was holding his head in both of his hands.  Angrily, I walked over to where the ball had landed and picked it up and smashed it against the ground.  This time it shattered into a million pieces.  Mr. Mint groaned and slumped forward.

I moved over to him and shook him awake.  I said, "Are you alright, Mr. Mint?"

He groaned again and looked up at me.  "You're Ap LePie, aren't you?  What are you doing here?"

He obviously didn't remember anything.  I told him my story and then about how I found him.  He looked about the room and said, "I guess that I've been busy doing all the wrong things."  He looked up at me with a fierce smile on his face.  "Mr. LePie, I'll get my workforce back to work and we'll start cranking out Peppermint spears before you know it!"

I smiled and slapped him on the back.  I turned to go, but Mr. Mint said, "Wait, Ap.  I think that I've got something that might help you on your way."

I turned and saw him go to his desk.  He rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a small, dark flute.  "Last year some of my workers found a Chocolate Peppermint tree deep in the forest.  Chocolate Peppermint trees are extremely rare and they turn into wonderful flutes that produce beautiful music."

He walked over to me and extended the flute out to me.  I looked and it was indeed a beautiful instrument.  "I don't think that I can take that, Mr. Mint."

He smiled and replied, "Please, take it.  Something tells me that you will need it before your journey is done."

I nodded at him and took the flute and carefully put it in the inner breast pocket of my coat.  "Thank you, Mr. Mint," I said.  I left his cabin and returned to the road.  My walk to the Gumdrop Mountain Pass would take most of the night and wouldn't be easy.

Story a Week 34 - Candy Land

I've been playing a lot of Candy Land with my kids lately, so I got the inspiration to write up some Candy Land fanfic (fan fiction for those in the know).  It just occurred to me that with Halloween coming up that I should have tried to write something scary or spooky or something for the holiday, but at least the story has a candy theme to it.  Right?

My last story (The Road Warrior) received a lot of reads (it's my top read blog post now), so I hope that those of you linked from filmcritic.com have returned to see what my Story a Week thing is all about.  I really enjoy sharing my writing with people on this blog and I hope that you enjoy my stories too.

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So, you want to hear the story of the missing King of Candy Land?  Well, alright.  It's a long tale, kids, so you'd better have a seat.  It all started while I was walking to the grocery store and I got a call on my cellphone.  The caller ID said that it was Plumpy.  I hadn't spoken to the little troll in a while, so I answered it.  "Hi there, Ap," he said when I answered.

His voice sounded different somehow, like he was worried or scared about something.  "What's going on, Plumpy?" I asked him.

"Well, Ap, it's like this," he said, speaking very quickly.  He was definitely agitated about something.  "The King's gone missing."

I knew right away that this was serious business.  The kingdom had been in a bit of trouble as it was running out of viable farmland.  Without the King and his five year farm plan, things could go downhill quickly.  "You got more information for me, Plump?  That's not much to go on."

"Yeah, Ap, I got more..."  He hesistated for just a moment before blurting out, "The castle is gone too."

I almost dropped my phone right there.  I looked around, but didn't see anyone.  I didn't want to cause a panic by someone overhearing me.  "What do you mean the castle is gone too?"

Plumpy's voice got really quiet as he said, "It's just gone.  Someone's coming.  I've got to go."

He hung up on me.  I just stared at the phone for a moment before turning and running back to my office.  My receptionist was still there.  She was startled when the door flew open and I charged through.  She said, "Wow, Mr. LePie.  You really startled me.  Something wrong?"

I internally debated on whether or not to tell her what was happening.  He was her King too, so I guess that she had the right to know.  Plus, I could trust her to keep it quiet.  "Well, Ms. Snap..."

She interrupted me, smiling as she did so, "Mr. LePie, I told you to call me Ginger."

I appreciated her flirtations, but this was not the time.  "Ginger, then.  As I was saying, the King and his castle are missing."

My revelation seemed to utterly confuse her.  "Missing?  What do you mean missing?  How is that even possible?"

I strode across the room to the door to my office and opened it.  "I don't know, dollface, but I'm going to find out."

I crossed over to my desk and pulled out a couple of items: my trusty revolver, some toothpaste bullets, a notepad and pen.  I loaded the gun and started to leave when Ginger's voice stopped me short.  "You be careful out there, Ap."

I looked over my shoulder to her, smiling as I said, "Ap LePie is always careful."

I had to hurry to the Gingerplum Tree Forest and find Plumpy.  I got there as fast as I could, but when I arrived I found that the place was deserted.  Last time I had been there, the forest had been the happy-go-lucky home of the Plumpa tribe of trolls.  Now, it was a spooky and scary place.  Not a single Plumpa troll was anywhere to be found.  There were Gingerplums scattered all over the forest floor.  That, in itself, was a sign that something was wrong, as the Plumpa trolls were very good at tending their trees and wouldn't let a single plum sit on the forest floor without being harvested.  Yeah, they were like that.

Suddenly, I heard a strange noise coming from up ahead.  I stopped and listened.  It sounded like someone was crying.  I quietly pulled out my revolver and crept closer to the noise.  As I approached, I heard the sobbing more, but it was often being interrupted by the sounds of that same person noisily eating something.  I crept behind a bush to get a clear view of the sobber so that they couldn't see me too.  As I looked, I saw Plumpy sitting against a tree, eating a Gingerplum and sobbing.  Littered all around him were plum pits and half-eaten plums.

I sighed and put away my gun as I walked around the bush to face Plumpy.  He'd always been a heavyset guy, but now he looked bloated from eating so many plums.  "How many of those things have you eaten, Plumpy?"

He looked up at me, shame and sadness in his eyes.  "Oh, who cares, Ap.  It doesn't even matter anymore."

I looked around again, where had the other trolls gone?  "Plumpy, you have to tell me what's going on here.  I want to help you, but I also have to find the King."

Plumpy swallowed the bite he'd been working on and wiped the tears from his eyes.  I'd never seen such a jolly guy like him be so glum.  "They're all gone, Ap.  All gone..."

That's when it dawned on me.  Whoever was responsible for the King's disappearance had made all the Plumpa trolls disappear too.  This was getting very dangerous.  I had to be sure though, so I asked, "What happened to your tribe?  Did whoever made the King disappear also make your tribe disappear?"

He nodded and picked up another plum.  I crouched down and held his hand before he could get it to his mouth.  "You have to give me more than that, Plumpy.  This mystery is getting more and more dangerous if the perp can make kings, castles and tribes disappear."

Plumpy sighed heavily and dropped the plum into his lap.  "He didn't make them disappear, Ap.  He turned them into Bitter Chocolate Bats."

"Bats?" I said.  I instantly knew who it was.  Only one person in all of Candy Land liked Bitter Chocolate Bats.  "Lord Licorice," I growled.

Plumpy nodded.  "He knows that I called you, Ap.  He's expecting you.  He left me here alone as a warning to you," Plumpy moaned as his eyelids fluttered.

I knew that this whole ordeal had been rough on the little troll.  I patted him on the head and said, "Sleep, old friend.  Sleep with the knowledge that everything will be right again when you wake."

I stood up as Plumpy fell asleep.  I only hoped that I wasn't lying to him.  It would be a tough journey to Lord Licorice's castle, but it looked like he was making a move for the crown of Candy Land and I would have to stop him.  I knew that there were only two ways to get to the Lord's castle, the Rainbow Road and Gumdrop Mountain Pass.  Unfortunately, on my way to the Gingerplum Forest, I saw that the Rainbow Road was out, probably thanks to the errant Lord.  I would have to take the long road through the Peppermint Forest and the Gumdrop Mountains.

Story a Week 4 - G. R. Inch

Hello everyone! I've got a special Christmas story for you this week. The Frank saga will continue on next week, but for now, I give you "G. R. Inch".

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"Geoffrey Russell Inch!" came a shrill voice.

'Oh jeez,' Jeff thought to himself. He looked around the mall food court. Seeing that no one was paying any attention, he turned to see his mother storming her way across the food court heading in his direction. He turned back to his lunch and rolled his eyes. 'She's so dramatic,' he thought.

Jeff took a bite out of his sandwich as he waited for his mother to get to his table. A moment later she was standing across the table from him. "Why don't you sit down, Mom?"

"I'm too angry to sit down!" she blurted out. Jeff noticed that some people looked over when she yelled and his mother must have too because she blushed and quickly sat. "Why didn't you tell me your wife kicked you out of your house?"

Jeff sighed. He wanted to say, 'Because I didn't want to.' Instead he said, "I didn't want to worry you."

"What happened?" his mother asked. Her tone was serious and showed that she wasn't going to give up that easily.

Sighing again, Jeff replied, "Oh, I don't know. We've been fighting a lot since Thanksgiving."

Jeff and his mother stared at each other for a long time before she asked, "And why is that?"

Jeff hesitated. When his mother motioned impatiently he rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, I don't know. She keeps saying that she doesn't like my attitude or something like that."

His mother stared fiercely at him and said, "I don't like your attitude."

"Oh, come on, Mom. My wife just kicked me out. I think that I'm entitled to a bad attitude now," Jeff growled. "Anyways, it was about my attitude towards Christmas, not anything else."

For the first time in the conversation his mother's gruff exterior changed, into a confused one. "You have an attitude towards Christmas?"

"Yes, I do. I'm almost thirty. Christmas used to be an awesome holiday that you got to spend with all of your family. Now it's a commercialized event devoid of any of the meaning that the holiday used to have," he paused for effect. "I work in a mall. I see the fools here at three in the morning the day after Thanksgiving throwing their money away on crap and it sickens me. I can't stand it anymore."

Jeff's mother stared at him blankly for a few moments. Finally, she said, "Your wife is right, your attitude sucks!"

As she got up, Jeff said, "Great. Have a good day, Mom."

She paused next to him as she was walking by and said quietly, "If you think that is all that Christmas is about, I feel sorry for you. You need to try to remember the real meaning of Christmas." Without another word, she kept on walking.

'The real meaning of Christmas...' Jeff thought, 'what the hell does that mean?'

Jeff picked up his lunch tray and headed back to work. After a few hours of work he left and headed back to the hotel he was staying in. "Merry Christmas," the clerk said to him as he passed by the front desk. Jeff ignored the teenager there and kept walking. When Jeff got to his room, he sat at the table, sighed heavily and booted up his computer. As he waited, he got up and went to the bathroom. When he returned he saw a Skype message from his wife. It said, "Your daughter wants to talk to you."

Jeff got a little smile on his face as he hit the "video call" button. A moment later he saw his daughter's smiling face on his computer. "Daddy!"

"Hi, Ashley! It's good to see you."

"I miss you Daddy. When are you coming home?" Ashley asked.

Jeff's heart sank. He hated disappointing his daughter. "I'm not sure honey. Mommy and I need to talk together to figure that out."

Ashley seemed to accept that. She said, "It's Christmas tomorrow, Daddy. I have a present I made for you. Do you want to see it?"

Jeff laughed and had to suppress tears from his eyes as he said, "No, honey. Let's save it for Christmas." As he finished that sentence something clicked in his mind. He said, "I need to talk to Mommy, can you get her?"

Ashley ran off the screen and a few moments later his wife's image replaced her. "What is it, Jeff?"

Jeff repressed a sigh and said, "I think I get it now, Amber."

Amber appeared irritated, sighed and asked, "Get what?"

"The meaning of Christmas," he paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "You've been right. I have had a terrible attitude. I can't believe that I didn't see it before. While I do still think that Christmas is over-commercialized, it doesn't matter. All that matters is the majesty of the holiday and sharing that majesty with others. Especially our children."

Jeff waited patiently for Amber to respond. After a few moments, she said, "Alright, Jeff. You talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?"

Jeff was confused, so he asked, "What do you mean?"

Amber, a slight smile on her face, said, "You have a couple of hours to get a couple of more presents for your family before the stores close. After that, you can come home and we'll all spend Christmas together."

Jeff almost leapt out of his chair that moment. With a big smile on his face he said, "I'll see you in a few hours!"

Then, he did leap out of his chair and began throwing his belongings into the two suitcases that he had been living out of for the past week. He walked up to the front desk and told the kid there that he was checking out. As he was leaving he paused to say, "Merry Christmas!"